Upon reading this blog you may get offended. I seriously have no intentions of doing so, and I do apologize in advance if I do so! With that said, let me begin...
I had the most horrible time falling asleep last night. It hit me, it was going to be July 1st when I awoke in the morning. It truly made me incredibly SAD. I love summer time so much because I feel like a stay at home mother again. It makes me sick to think I have to head back to work come the last week of July. Yes, my wonderful school system thinks it's okay to get out at the end of May and return the last week of July. Last time I checked summer was July and August. Whatever happened to starting school after Labor Day?
As I was lying there in bed I came increasingly more and more jealous of stay at home mothers. Which made me start to really detest them. I began thinking...How do they afford it? Why can't I afford it? How much does a husband have to make in this community for their wives to stay home? I kept getting more and more angry. I just don't understand, how in the world do families around here make it? I see folks driving very expensive mini vans, wearing the fanciest of clothes, eating out all the time, going on several vacations a year, having gym memberships, hiring babysitters to go out and about...I am sure you get my point. I could seriously go on and on and on with more examples but I won't.
I guess what these feelings truly boil down to is the loss of my summer upon me. This anticipation is bringing out a bad side in me. I don't hate stay at home mothers. I envy them. I want to be them.
Now you may be asking yourself, "is her life that bad?" No! It is not. Not at all! I have a good life. I have a great husband who works his ass off providing for us. I have a daughter who is not only beautiful on the outside but most importantly on the inside. We go on tons of family adventures together making wonderful family memories.
I will leave you today with a little story from this morning and quote from my daughter: We were sitting at the pool. I told Emma that I have already started to miss her just thinking about having to go back to work. She comes over to me and sits down next to me and says, "You don't have to miss me Mommy. I am always in your heart!" as she said that she pointed to my heart and just smiled the BIGGEST smile ever.
Which just goes to show just how very lucky I am to have my life!
Great Blog!!! What is interesting is I remember when I realized you were staying home (prior to having Paige) I thought you were nuts, then Lindsay decided to stay home and I thought she was crazy....why did these girls go to school to just stay home. Now, I get it, I totally get get it. For us it is a numbers game, for me to go back to work and pay for these two to go to daycare is not worth it. That and James's job makes it very hard for me to work a traditional job.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I feel the same way and I have thought about it a lot. Unfortunately unless we win the lottery, me staying home is NOT an option. But then I think how much I like my job and how lucky I am (summers off, great hours, numerous vacations, etc). Plus you get to be a great role-model for Emma and perhaps even have her come to the school where you work which is what we are going to do.
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How "funny" that we have opposite feelings here. The summer is half over and I am jealous of all the moms who get to go to work. Don't get me wrong, I love being with my boys all day... but I REALLY miss working. This will be my last year off and then hopefully LCPS will take me back. I am going to make the most of my last year home with them and try to enjoy every day. Hope you enjoy every day of your summer break with Emma. How lucky you are to have such a smart and beautiful little girl to enjoy your summer with!
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